2010 is here, i guess i can say i have grown abit in 2009. Since you departed, i have been learning to stand on my own again. still in the process of finding bear but i guess at least i am doing my best. i have to admit you are still constantly on my mind but i have learn to cope with that feeling. although sometimes i still get lost in my emotions. it can be overwhelming.

in a few hours time, i will be on a plane with dom, cee and jules to bangkok. i wish you are here with me on this trip. the feeling of traveling to the budget terminal is deja vu to me but only this time i will be on my own. the Phuket trip had been the highlight of my life and i will never forget that. the memories bring a smile to my face all the time and i can remember details of it vividly. i hard to admit but i am envious of mark and fel. i wish we could be like them. i wish i was in New York with you, travelling together and having a blast, just the 2 of us. it feels bitter somethings but i have learn to be less bitter and give thanks to what i have in my life. you always have the wisdom of it but i was lost mostly. you didnt give up on me and comfort me while i did the opposite. now that i have learned, i could only wish i did things differently. there is just too many things in life to be bitter about but i will learn to see the brighter side of life and im thankful that you taught me this.

you are the only one, H. til we meet again.